the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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