Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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