Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Everclear isn't food dammit
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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