So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
