Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
