JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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