What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
