Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
