i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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