He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Quick, to the slutcave!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
