my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
