so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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