I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
