This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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