some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
be right there i have to get my cape
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize