The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
