Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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