She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Acid is not a monday night drug
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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