I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
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He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
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She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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