you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she smelled like a LAN party
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
