God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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