I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
