8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Never underestimate the power of titties
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
