if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
