i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
