I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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