Betty ford says i'm here all night
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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