Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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