i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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