You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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