I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
