I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
