This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
should my penis look like a turkey
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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