Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
