I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
