eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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