she was so not down for the gang bang
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
