Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
