well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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