found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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