Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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