and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
