finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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