According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
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Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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