Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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