they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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