Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
