Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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