How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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