I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
