I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you win again, gameday.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Come on in and take your pants off
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