it wasn't lemon gatorade
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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