Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
