do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing