nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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