I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
