My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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