I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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