I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
did you just send me my own nude
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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