I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
